The beat goes on
by thankyoufortheV
Summary: Nothing new. Already done a thousand times. This is my try: The beat goes on. He turned the music louder. Additional scene in 2.21 - Lorelai's Graduation Day. Jess' POV right after the phone call.


_hey... first I have to tell you I haven't done this for years and I've never before done this in English - so please be nice ;)_

 _In the last weeks I started to watch GG again, and a while ago this idea just dropped into my mind. I couldn't help it but write it down.  
It is just a short additional scene in 2.21 Lorelai's Graduation Day - set right after the phone call... it's Jess' POV_

 _so enjoy - and reviews are love_

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 _ **The beat goes on**_

 _Boom. Boom. Boom._ He turned the music louder. _Master of Puppets_ was blasting into his ears. He had hung up the phone and stepped away from the booth. Now he made his way back to the park. It was already dark – or as dark as it would get, for the smog lingered around the city so no single star would ever be seen in the greyish sky.

The first time Luke came up with the headphones and the Discman he thought he was kidding. As if he – Jess – would ever use _something_ like that. But one time, when Luke came up from closing the diner (without his help) and _The Clash_ was humming through the apartment so loudly – it seemed the windows were going to break – Luke slammed it onto him (which was actually quite painful) with _that_ look on his face. The _I-am-warning-you-just-this-once-not-to-fuck-around-_ look. Actually it was a mystery to him why Luke didn't use it more often – for… it worked. Maybe to a stranger it seemed, Luke lost his temper quite regularly, but that was not true. Not really. Of course, he was complaining and nagging around all the time, sometimes he was even yelling. But that was just him being the grumpy person he was. It happened very rarely that he really lost it. Like this one time with the Discman. And so Jess took it – grunting of course – but anyway, he took it. And now he had to admit, it was quite handy. It combined two of the things most valuable to him: music and _outside_. _Boom. Boom. Boom._ He turned the music louder.

This affinity for being outside was nothing new, nothing he had developed as Luke punched him into the lake – and by so making the bridge his favorite place in Stars Hollow – as some might assume. He already had it long before that back in New York, he had it in Stars Hollow and he had it now, back in New York again. Some people might think about it as romantic. The little lake, the birds singing in the trees, the dragonflies humming between the grasses on the shore, the last sunlight of the day reflecting on the water and every leaf that was blown on the lake drew new pictures in a thousand different colors. Maybe it was true for Stars Hollow, however, it could never be for New York. Still he would spend hours sitting on a bench in the park. Hearing the noise of the traffic, the honking of the cabs, the undefinable murmur of thousands of people going to work, going home, going out, the sirens of the police cars. What _outside_ meant to him – and he would never ever admit the romance of this – was _peace_. Ever since he could remember, being _inside_ meant, that someone was getting on him. His mother, her boyfriends, the neighbors of the scruffy apartment building they lived in, his teachers… even Luke. _Outside_ meant, he could just be and do whatever he wanted to be and whatever he wanted to do. He could just sit and read for hours without disturbance. Taking a drag of a cigarette once in a while. And if he just wanted to do nothing – then for God's sake – he just did nothing. _Boom. Boom. Boom_. He turned the music louder.

He really didn't know why he had called her. It was not like he had thought about it for hours or anything. He was just walking around absent-minded, and when passing a phone booth, just by accident he dialed her number. The one he had dialed so often it was burned into his mind. They hadn't really talked, just exchanged a few words. _"'So, what's up?' – 'Nothing. What about you?'"_ It was good to hear her voice again. Not like he missed it. He had just gotten so used to it. After all the talking about books and music and stuff, it felt strange, _not_ to talk to her. Sometimes he would read through a certain passage or maybe just one sentence and he would reach for the phone to call her, just to be reminded – a moment later – that there was no phone next to him, that he was sitting in the park, instead of Luke's apartment, that he was no longer in Stars Hollow, but in New York again. And that she was no longer a part of his life. _Boom. Boom. Boom_. He turned the music louder.

He should be glad, he told himself. That was what he had wanted the whole time. To come back to New York. Back home. To leave this small dump he never wanted to go to in the first place. However, it should not have happened _this_ way. When he closed his eyes, he could still see the tortured look on her face, as she was holding her left wrist with the other hand. Clinging it to her body. _"It's just the wrist, I'm okay"_ she had said, even trying to smile. Of course she was not. But he made sure she was. He tried to ease her pain, dusted off everything he ever knew about first aid, called the paramedics. They also said she was okay, when he asked so desperately, the doctor wanted to take a look at him – he must have looked more shaken than he would admit.

He wanted to check on her later. When he came up to her house, he saw that the window of her room was illuminated. So she was back. He was relieved. Apparently there was no need to stay in the hospital overnight. As he approached, however, he saw her mother, sitting on her side on the bed. He knew he should not be surprised. It was Lorelai. After what had happened, it was just natural for her not to lose sight of her daughter for one single moment. All the same, this would definitely keep him from knocking. Still, he could at least take a closer look. She looked well. Tired, but her cheeks had regained color. He breathed a sigh of relief. So she was okay, he had checked on her – and so he turned around and went back to Luke's apartment to pack his most essential belongings. Only hours later he left. _Boom. Boom. Boom._ He turned the music louder.

He couldn't fight the thought what it would be like to see her again. After the phone call he was now quite sure she was not angry with him. But would it still be like what it was before? And what had it been before? They had been friends – of course. Talking about books and movies. Certainly she complained about his teasing comments and his rude behavior. Nevertheless, he knew she liked it every time she bit back laughter over one of his sarcastic remarks. And she had told him to turn right. They could have gone back to the Diner, but she had told him to turn right…

However, it did not matter. Not anymore. She was there, in Stars Hollow, where you could see thousands and thousands of stars every night – and he was here. _Boom. Boom. Boom._ He turned the music louder.

He thought about the latest books he had read and would recommend to her. He thought about showing her the record store with the crazy guy – he knew she would _love_ it there. Just as she would love the hot dog from that one hot dog stand he ate at nearly every day. He would probably go there tomorrow too. And maybe he should also visit the record store. There was always some hidden treasure to find.

 _Boom. Boom. Boom._ He turned the music louder. As loud as it would get. So maybe it would overtone the pounding of his heart. _Boom. Boom. Boom._


End file.
